Monday, November 27, 2006

Sell Your City

Cincinnati
[sin-sin-nat-ee]

...a.k.a...

The 'Nati, The Nasty 'Nati, The Queen City, or Porkopolis

Cincinnati is home to seven major sports venues, two major league
teams, six minor league teams, and hosts five college institutions with their own sports teams. It is home to baseball's Reds, America's first professional baseball team, the Bengals of the National Football League, and the historic international men's and women's tennis tournament, The A.T.P. Masters Series Cincinnati Masters.

Fun things to dO
Ride the world LONGESt WOODEN rollercoster "The Beast" at Paramount's Kings Island
Visit the Loveland Bike Trail in Loveland, Ohio
Canoe on the Little Miami River
Visit the Loveland Castle
Check out the ZOO

And Lastly.....
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM CINCINNATI WHEN

~Your idea of a three-way is chilli over spaghetti topped with cheddar
~You hate Cleveland, but you don't know why, and you've never been there
~You say "Please?" instead of "Excuse me?"
~You've been to California, Wyoming, Coney Island, and Over-the-Rhine in one day
~What groundhog? It's the St. Patrick's Day parade leprechaun that forecasts how much longer winter will last.
~Indiana is about 20 miles away, but it takes about four hours to get there.
~It's too cold in the winter, and too hot and humid in the summer, to ever stay outside for very long.
~You ask lifetime residents where the President Taft house is, but they don't know either.
~Your low-fat diet is never low enough to exclude Graeter's ice cream.
~Big Red Smokies are a ballpark treat, not cause to dial 9-1-1.
~If necessary, the city could easily be sliced into two new cities: East and West, and it would take 20 years for anyone to notice something happened.
~Chocolate and cinnamon, not peppers and beans, are in your chili.
~You can drive 30 minutes in any direction to hear a different accent than your own.
~You can accurately judge people's social status by which Kroger's store they frequent.
~You can go to any church festival in any neighborhood on any weekend and see at least five people you either work with, went to school with, or dated.
~Any carbonated beverage is a "coke."
~Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union.
~You can't hear the words "Mike Brown" without getting angry.
~You honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall Fame.
~You have more stadiums, coliseums, and arenas than you know what to do with.
~Your favorite Coney Island isn't in New York.
~ You know how Jerry Springer got his start.
~You know what a pony keg is.
~An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you
~You think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider.
~You know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey."
~You know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red.
~You think Kentucky is only slightly more civilized than Afghanistan.
~You can almost name the seven "hills" minus one or two.

6 comments:

  1. This is actually pretty funny...

    not because I'm from Cincinnati, quite the opposite, i've never been there and can associate with nothing on that list. what makes me laugh is that i just reciently read one of those things for Long Island, New York (where I'm from) and could understand every reference. here's one on Cincinnati and I understand nothing. its kinda funny when you think about it. ^^

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha that is funny. It's like a little inside 'city' joke.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Erika, love the blog and thank you for the nice comments :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. It seems like I just posted a story at lovelandmagazine.com about your sister graduating from basic training when I got a google alert about your blog. Too strange. David Miller lovelandmagazine@cinci.rr.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this entry!

    I blogged...why don't you? hahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sigh. I love the Reds. For some reason. I've never been to a game there, though. I've only seen them a few times playing in Atlanta.

    ReplyDelete