Saturday, June 9, 2007

Courtness

Lawyer: "Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?"
Witness
: "Yes."
Lawyer
: "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?"
Witness
: "Yes, sir."
Lawyer
: "What did she say?"
Witness
: "'What disco am I at?'"

Lawyer
: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes"
Lawyer
: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness
: "I forget."
Lawyer
: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"

Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness
: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer
: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness
: "Forty-five years."

Lawyer
: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness
: "No."
Lawyer
: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness
: "No."
Lawyer
: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness
: "No."
Lawyer
: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness
: "No."
Lawyer
: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness
: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer
: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness
: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

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