Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I'm in Mourning

Dear Yellow Car,

Honestly you were a bitch form the start. Remember how when I reached 75 miles on the highway your steering wheel started to shake? We got that fixed, and thank god you were under warranty then - I think they replaced your tires twice, breaks and something else as well. Remember when your sunroof stopped working? That was just stubborn of you. I'm sure you didn't like the wind ripping through your insides, but the fact of the matter was... I liked it flowing through my hair! You were selfish and decided to close up for good. It would have been 2,000 dollars to pry open your stubborn ass. I wasn't about to do that, you made your point. And I guess you got pissed that I wasn't paying enough attention to the cleanliness of the inside of my car so you decided to take it into your own hands... buy letting any and every drop of rain in right through the passenger side door and onto my floor. How rude. Remember that time we went over the train tracks? I went too fast and hit my breaks... so you ever so slightly cracked the ABS ring thing-a-ma-bober around my axle so would make a funny clunky sound every time I tried to stop. You are unforgiving. Maybe that's why you called attention to yourself with that bright flashy yellowness that you have and that car hit us at Meijer? Could it be all your fault?

No. I think the other lady just sucks at driving. I cannot blame you. I will however blame you for all of the speeding tickets I have acquired over the past six years. Never once, have I gotten a speeding ticket in any other car. You yellowness just calls out to the radar gun. And for that I hate you.

You were a good jokester too. Like when you decided that the motor to the windshield wipers needed a permanent break... while it was raining outside. I found that quite amusing.

Oh but you have been good to me too. I was an abusive parent. I hit you with a mailbox and you took it like a champ. Your mirror hung in there, it just wobbled a bit after that. You didn't complain when that bitchy little girl rear ended us and I didn't fix you. You understood that the money was needed for rent. You were always good to me in the snow, and braced yourself every time i hit a curb. You took me to California and back with no problems at all, I will always say that was the best trip ever. And we did it alone, together. You had amazing factory speakers and you even put up with my terrible singing. I don't know how you did it. And though your black leather seats were HOT HOT HOT every day during the summer, they were so forgiving. Like that time (or two) that I left my windows and sunroof open... and it poured. you just held the water right there for me to soak up. I don't remember how many times I've spilled or dropped something on those seats... but there is not a single stain!

We've had our issues, our disagreements.... but overall you were a good car. And though I may never know what that squeaky sound was every morning, I no longer have to worry about it becuase you are in a better place.... even if you were assassinated.



  1. I will NEVER forget the new-yellow-car-contest-escapade. Great idea for a Friday flashback, eh?

    This was a great post!

  2. (I wish I could find something witty to say right now)