Five strategies used to sooth pain and why:
- I sleep when I get stressed out. I do this in order to shut out the outside world and others which helps to reduce pain. It gives me a sense of security knowing that this is one way to shut everyone out and have a moment not to think about something. It’s become habitual because I always feel refreshed and able to conquer whatever it is when I wake up.
- I spend too much time on the internet. I substitute my time doing this in order to avoid dreadful homework. I keep busy online to avoid what I really should be doing, but am just not interested in doing. I feel that if I’m doing something, it’s better than doing nothing.
- With friends I often deny there is a problem. I always say “its okay,” and don’t act mad, when I’m actually upset. I do this in order to please them and avoid confrontation and lengthy explanations. I don’t like to feel the pain of a fight, so I try to avoid it all together.
- I go for drives. I do this when I’m feeling lost, confused or frustrated. I think I do this for a sense of security, I know that no matter where I go, all always find my way back.
- I blab my horror stories to my best friend in order to receive some kind o acknowledgement, that yeah, what I’m going through sucks. It also helps to talk through the pain of frustration and I always feel better after talking to her!
Five strategies used to satisfy needs and why:
- I over-work myself by keeping three jobs. Ever since I could work, I have worked. Not working is seen as “lazy”. I don’t want to appear lazy to anyone, therefore I work three jobs (and have no time or energy to do anything else!) I also like to feel the need of being needed. I feel like I’d be letting people down if I quit one of my jobs.
- I call my
Mom, way too much - like for this assignment I needed help coming up with a few more than I had. I have always depended on her and respected her opinions, so when I need something – an answer to a question, instructions on how to do something – I call her without hesitation. It’s like I need to reaffirm that security of having her there, because she lives all the way in ! Arizona
- I read non-stop. I do this because other people see me reading and I think it makes them think I’m more knowledgeable. There is also the pleasure I get in reading, and how it takes me away from my own life for a little bit and creates a world of stimulation/adventure.
- I volunteer because I need to feel needed. I also have a need to look good – I volunteer for the same company I work at (a park), and hope to have a future job with after I graduate.
- I am a perfectionist. One- because I grew up with a pretty much OCD dad and a very crafty mother. And two – because I did great on one high school project that I was really into, and after I showed that quality of work there was no way I could do any worse – too much was expected of me. So when it comes to projects, “crafty” things or just the way I have my things, it has to be perfect. There is a need of significance, I like when other to compliment me on my perfect ways (and I act like its no big deal).