Friday, October 31, 2008

A Scorpion Story

She's opening cabinet doors left and right - zooming back and forth across the kitchen. Washer. Cabinet. Washer. Drawer. Washer. Cabinet. She's quickly and purposely quietly putting away the clean dishes. Using her last bit of energy from her midnight cleaning spree she glances down at a spot on the floor. She looks in disbelief. To her horror there is tiny but powerful scorpion waiting for a carelessly placed toe. She could have sworn the last three times she had walked by - it was only a leaf.

Careful not to stir the resting beast, she plucks a clean Tupperware container from the cabinet. Still warm from the washer she flips it over the scorpion’s body and applies pressure in the form of body weight to avoid any room for slipping under. She reaches for the nearest paper and grabs a political ad for some wrinkly old man she didn't vote for. Carefully she slides the paper underneath the container. Halfway she stops, sensing that the spastically darting scorpion is about to escape. She applies more pressure - and waits. Finally the scorpion comes to rest on the paper halfway under the container, she slides the rest under.

Realizing the paper is too flimsy, the scorpion is to fast, and she has no health insurance – should she get stung... she calls the one person that has always been there - the one that could always help her out of a sticky situation.

"Mooooommmm, Moooooommm, Mothhhhhherrr!" she yells from the kitchen in hopes to wake her sleeping mother. "Moooommmm, MoooOOOOoooMM!" She continues to yell. Hunched over and leaning on top of a Tupperware container with all her weight for 10 minutes; she begins to wonder why she turns the TV down when everyone else goes to be - no one can hear her yelling. The "Moms" start to sound like nothing more than noise - and she realizes they aren't working.

"Mom, Mom please help me. I need some help in here," she pleads loudly.

Finally she hears the bedroom door open. She gets her mothers attention and directs her by the sound of her voice to where she is.

Books soon replace hands on top of the Tupperware container and the two sit at the kitchen table devising a plan for scorpion removal. Many ideas later, the scorpion has found himself stuck between Saran wrap and a plastic Tupperware container. Her mother prepares the plastic box for lift off, while she mans the sliding door. 1..2...3... the box is lifted and the door is open. Her mom scurries out of the door, box in hand.
As she reaches the end of the porch she launches the box off into the yard.


P.s. I didn't mention at how one point I was crying(over exhaustion and pure perplexedness).... also I shut the door after my mom ran out and made her shake before coming back in. haha.


  1. OK, OK, OK! I thought someone was outside and had lost their pet during Trick-or-Treat. It was a better dream anyway.

    ..and you thought I was just a boring old ma! Life is NEVER dull around here..

  2. I'm glad everything turned out OK. Personally, I would have been screaming for someone else to cover it with a tupperware container. :^)

  3. I would have squished it with the tupperware container or anything else I could have found!

  4. no way i culd squish it. i can't deal with the Cruuunnnchhhh.