Friday, February 29, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I will vote for who I WANT. Ugh.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
But other than that. This week is insane. Interning and doing a couple ride-alongs...
My goals are to get through the week and.... find out who is carrying around a voodoo doll resembling me.
Happy HUMP DAY! and only 3.5 weeks of college left. EVER.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
We got in an ACCIDENT! And that's about all I can tell you because I'm not aloud to give details about what exactly I do because peoples personal info is involved yadda yadda yadda...
Anyway. Lukily I wasn't driving (I am not aloud anyway).... and everyone was okay... but this is my SECOND accident in a WEEK!
I think someone slammed a "kick me" sign on my back and change kick to hit. Cross your fingers and pray that I don't EVER get an another accident!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
This is 1 of 365. For the Flickr Group "365 Days"
The idea is you post a self portrait a day.
It's kind of like drawing on an envelope while you're on the phone. Yeah.... just like that I was on the phone... except and apple was my paper and my fingernail was my pen ;-)
All the kissing couples
And the teddy bears in mugs.
Annoying shaped balloons.
And big pink cards that promise hugs.
Cupid's arrow didn't hit
Me anywhere this year.
So me, myself and I will
Drown our sorrows in some beer.
The 14th of the 2nd month
Is just another day.
So why the crazy air of love?
It just gets in the way.
I'd rather go out with my friends
Or sit at home and read.
I'd like a boyfriend, yes I would.
But its not a desperate need.
So "down wiv valentiney things"
"Down wiv love" I say.
Down with all the bears in mugs
ITS JUST ANOTHER DAY!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I can't stand it. Problems start in the parking lot, head to the isles, run ramped in the checkout line and are still there in the parking lot waiting for you when you're done.
Here is why I hate it:
You pull into the grocery store and someone steals your spot - when you clearly have your blinker on and have been waiting an eternity for that slow ass grocery shopper to get in their car and get the heck out of there. Finally, you find an open spot! You try to swing in the spot but the jackass next to you is over the line. So you have to back out and find a farther out spot because you don't want that piece of shit to hit your car with their car door... obviously they don't care about their own car seeing as it has a trash bag for a window. Then you walk in and literally every cart has some piece of shit in it, or they're wet from the rain outside, or they just look down right dingy. You opt for a basket, but of course they are all out. So you decide to buy only what you can carry. But why is it that the things you tend to want are the heaviest damn things in the whole grocery store? I'm not even going to mention how all the apples are bruised and all the milk leaks... Oh, I guess I mentioned it anyway. You get to shopping and of course you have to deal with those idiots with screaming kids who bump into you and those retards who don't understand grocery store traffic patterns. Seriously it's just like driving a car, stay to the right. It makes things SO much easier. Then there is that lady who is standing there staring at the two practically identical tubs of butter contemplating which one to pick. Seriously lady, It's butter. Butter is butter I don't care how you slice it - just fucking pick one... and please tune into the fact that I've been standing here the past 5 minutes patiently waiting for you to decide... you are in my way and I need to grab that stick of butter that I know I want. Move it!
Finally you've got what you want. Your hand is frozen, your left arm is about to fall off and if you don't put this stuff down soon those eggs are going to meet the ground and scramble themselves. So you run to the "15 Items or less" isle only to find a lady in front of you- her cart spilling over with funyuns and squeeze-its. You look over and the self checkout lane has about thirty people waiting with one item each so you decide to wait it out (did I mention I hate self check out lanes?) It is finally your turn and you order your stuff on the little conveyor belt. You put all the cold stuff together and the soft things like chips and bread at the end. However those morons they call baggers seriously just DON'T get it. Sure, put my magazine with the sweating gallon of milk, oh and while your at it, please set that bag directly on top of the bag containing my bag of sun chips - I'll eat them with a spoon I guess. As the cashier is ringing you up you realize you forgot your plus card (or whatever card it is they make you bring to save money, only so that they can track your spending habits) They ask you for it... you reply...no you don't have it. Does it end there? NO. "Put your phone number in, oh you don't know that phone number from 5 yrs ago anymore? Well do you want a new card? No, you can't get it from me" she routinely says as she points to the customer service desk staffed by one lonely sole, in front of which is a line of the 10 most recent dissatisfied customers. yeah right. I'll pay the extra money for my grocery's just NOT to stand it that line thank you very much!
When your done paying you walk out the door and across the cross walk where some ass in a car gives you the evil eye for walking in front of them. I have the right away bitch. Come a little closer and let me kick your piece of shit. You get to your car and there is a cart slammed into the front end. So much for parking farther back. You get in your car. Drive out of the parking lot, avoiding grandma who is on the wrong side of the lane (hey did you know traffic laws apply in parking lots! Who wudda thunk it) You get home and cringe as you think about bringing the grocery's in and putting all the crap away, and you just about go crazy when you open your trunk when you realize everything has made its way out of the bags and rolled all over your trunk on they way home.
Seriously I hate grocery shopping.
Friday, February 8, 2008
You are invited to anonymously contribute your secrets to PostSecret. Each secret can be a hope, regret, funny experience, unseen kindness, fantasy, belief, fear, betrayal, erotic desire, confession, or childhood humiliation. Reveal anything - as long as it is true and you have never shared it with anyone before.
P.S. I like people to think for themselves... so I'm not going to be stating who I'm voting for or who you should vote for. I hate pushy people.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
By: Tucker Max
Book Description: "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world.
Actual reader feedback:
"I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?"
"Thank you, thank you, thank you—for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say ‘screw the system’ and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, ‘What Would Tucker Do?’—and I do it, and I am a better man for it."
"I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist."
"I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
What I thought: Oh my. I loved this book! SO funny. This book is a collection of Tucker Max's crazy stories... okay so its a book of his sexcapades. My guess is if you are between 17 and 30 you'd like this book and if you're male you'd like it more. If you were ever in a fraternity (I know, I stereotype) you'd like this book. If you ever went to college (note, I did not say you had to graduate) you might like this book. If you're my mother you won't like this book.
Of you could just go visit the Tucker Max website and read some sample stories an figure it out for yourself.
Don't wait for the movie version (it would be a porno).
... He has a new book coming out soon I hear.
I give this book 4.5 out of 5